Never Say Lost

You stiff-necked people, with uncircumcised hearts and ears!
You are just like your fathers: You always resist
the Holy Spirit! Acts 7:51

Lostology Law #5

You cannot force people to admit they are lost.

Passengers in my car often accuse me of being lost. (Their accusations appear to have some connection with the fact that I do get lost so often.) My response is always controlled, appropriate, measured: "Lost? What do you mean `lost'? I'm not lost!" Still, they persist. Therefore, I have composed various explanations for why I often appear lost:

"No, I don't think we just drove by that McDonalds. It may look like the same McDonalds to you, but I'm sure it isn't. Are you wearing your contacts?"

"Lost? Me? I know I'm not lost. Frankly, I am a bit concerned about you. Do you have a problem with geographic disorientation?"

"Oh no, I'm not lost. This is a short cut. You'll see. We'll save lots of time."

"Stop and ask for directions? Totally unnecessary. There's no reason to do anything drastic. This is starting to look familiar to me."

"Lost? Me? Lost? Are you accusing me of being an irresponsible driver? I don't mind telling you that I take that personally and I don't appreciate your attitude one little bit."

"Driving in circles? I can't believe you'd say a thing like that. I assure you I know what I'm doing. But if you want to drive, I can stop this car right now and let you take over."

"Lost?" Silence. "LOST?" Silence. "LOST?" Silence. "No, nothing's wrong. I just don't want to talk about it.

A Slap in the Face

How do you respond when someone suggests you are lost? How do you feel? Over the years, I have talked to lots of people, especially men, and all agree that it really irritates them when anyone suggests they are lost. I understand perfectly. Suggesting you are lost is a slap at your competence. If someone questions whether you can find your way, who knows what other areas of your life they will question next.

Hard Truth for Hard Hearts

When it comes to confronting people about being spiritually lost, I think about Jesus' encounter with the Pharisees. Remember these were veteran spiritual insiders--at least they thought so. Yet Jesus understood what they could not comprehend: they were spiritually lost. Subtle approaches did not work with these guys. Jesus preached sermons. He told stories. He met with them individually. Finally, when their opposition to His ministry reached a dangerous pitch, Jesus leveled the big guns at them. Here is a paraphrase of His encounter as recorded in Matthew 23:

• You are like a bunch of tombs filled with dead men's bones.
• You are like fancy cups, clean and shiny on the outside so you look good to others, but inside you are filthy.
• You think you are so spiritual that you travel all over seeking people to be proselytes. But when you convert people, you make them twice the sons of hell you are!
• You are like eye doctors, working to remove specks from patients' eyes while you have huge planks poking out of your eyes.

Pretty direct, don't you think? The Pharisees went ballistic. Although they needed every bit of Jesus' rebuke, they did not accept a word of it.

Confused Priorities

Jesus not only confronted the religious leaders of the day who were lost and did not know it, He dealt with other people He encountered.

One day, a rich, young man walked up to Jesus (see Mark 10). Even though Jesus was in the middle of a lesson, the self-absorbed young man interrupted. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus responded, "You know the laws." The young man swelled out his chest in pride and said, "I've kept the laws my entire life."

Jesus was not impressed. Others might have mistaken this law-keeper for a super-saint but Jesus didn't. He recognized a lost soul.

Nothing short of spiritual shock treatment could bring this young man to his senses, so Jesus issued a high voltage blast to his heart. "Why don't you sell all you have and follow Me?" Jesus challenged the man. No response. The spiritual EKG showed a straight line. The rich young man turned and walked away, very sad and very lost.

Although Jesus loved the Pharisees and the rich young man with His incredible love, these encounters illustrate a basic principle of lostology: When people are lost and not ready to admit it, there is little anyone can do to force them to say, "I'm lost."

Truth That Is Hard to Admit

When I first envisioned the work of our new church in Portland, I pictured a church where thoughtful spiritual seekers would come, ask questions, hear the compelling logic of the gospel, and decide to trust Christ. Schooled in apologetics, I felt prepared to engage people in convicting conversation. "Give me a seeker," I thought, "and I'll lead him down the apologetic trail to Christ." Wrong.

Henry crushed my strategy. He was the ultimate salesman, an accomplished talker. Talking with him was like talking to an Einstein-level five-year-old. One question raised other questions; one string of logic became lost in another. With Henry, conversation was a game, an opportunity to pare mind against mind in a winner-take-all intellectual slugfest.

Henry had plenty of reasons to recognize his lost condition. Every circumstance and every relationship in his life called out to him, demanding that he face reality: his life was not working. He was spiritually lost and that condition impacted every area of his life. I really wanted Henry to acknowledge this foundational problem. Yet hard as I tried, I never made progress with him. He was lost, but he was still in the Lost Zone. I could point to the turn he had missed but until he sensed that reality, no amount of pushing created the desired effect. He refused to admit he was lost.

Climbing the Ladder

While we cannot force secular people to admit they are lost, we can try to raise questions in their minds about their spiritual condition. Many non-Christians are overly optimistic about their relationship with God and are convinced they will fare well in any life to come. Without a biblical frame of reference, they set their own standards and easily pass their self-styled tests.

When talking to secular people about what it means to be right with God, it helps to give them a frame of reference. Pastor Bill Hybels of Willowcreek Community Church uses the following simple illustration. Draw a ladder on a piece of paper and explain that it represents the way we move toward God. God is at the top; people are at the bottom. Ask those you are talking with where they think they are on that ladder.

Before they respond, give them a strong dose of perspective. Explain that if Billy Graham or Mother Teresa or any other famous spiritual person were asked where they ranked apart from Jesus Christ, these leaders would put themselves on one of the lower rungs. Mark an X on the ladder and write these famous Christians' names by the X. Then, for emphasis, make another X below these and write your name. Explain that on your own merits, you would rank far below these renowned spiritual leaders. Pause for a moment, then ask again where the non-Christians would rank themselves.

This is quite an adjustment for most people. It presents a different way of thinking about being lost. For most secular people, this simple ladder illustration raises enough doubts about their relationship with God to get them thinking about their spiritual lives--sometimes for the first time. This awareness will not lead them to Christ, but it can be a positive step in the right direction. We cannot force people to admit they are lost.

Through asking questions, we help them think about spiritual issues. For a person in the initial stages of moving toward God, questioning your old ideas is a major step of progress.

The Lostology Lab

To help you identify with non-Christians who struggle to admit they are spiritually lost, recall a time when you were physically lost but refused to admit it:

• If you were alone, how long did it take you to admit to yourself that you were lost? If you were with other people, did you find it harder or easier to admit you were lost? Why?
• Why do you think it is so difficult for people, especially men, to admit they are lost?

Think about non-Christians you know who have struggled to admit they were spiritually lost. Now consider these questions:

• How did they respond once they learned what the Bible teaches about salvation and the fact that those without Christ are spiritually lost? Did they welcome this message or resist it? Why?
• In your conversations with non-Christians, have you ever tried to force them to admit they are spiritually lost? What happened? What did you learn?
• Do you find that it is harder for men than for women to admit they are spiritually lost? If so, why?

Coming Next: Seize the Moment

You cannot force people to admit they are lost, but you can watch for the reality to dawn on them. It comes slowly, but when it comes, that is your opportunity. We will learn more about this important moment in the next chapter.