Why We Get Lost

For wide is the gate and broad is the road
that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. Matthew 7:13

Lostology Law #3

It is easy to get lost.

As soon as the doctor smacked him on the bottom in the delivery room, Matt looked up and asked, "Why'd you do that?"

All right, so it didn't really happen . . . but it could have. My friend Matt is a question-asking machine. The months before he could talk were just a warm-up, a time to build up inventory. No other explanation accounts for the torrent of questions that flows from his mouth. Like a dam crumbled by a raging river, Matt's lips buckle against the flash flood of questions his brain creates. His red hair, freckled face, and impish smile provide the spillway for the thundering flow of questions that gush constantly through his lips.

When Matt was five, he spent the weekend at our house while his parents were away. If a count had begun on Friday night and ended on Sunday afternoon, Matt's questions would have easily hit four digits. I am not talking about easy-to-answer questions. Oh no, Matt specialized in the unanswerable:

"What if a space ship lands on the hood of the car while we're driving?"

"What if Superman is driving that eighteen wheeler over there?"

"What if pirates attack our car?"

"What if a tree falls on the house while we're gone?"

On Saturday afternoon, while waiting for a movie to start, I tried to distract Matt temporarily. Catching him mid-breath, I said, "Matt, how did you get to be so smart?" Without missing a beat, he gave me a self-assured look and said, "I ask a lot of questions."

An Answer at Last

Pretty insightful for a five-year-old. I should have asked Matt why people get lost. I have thought about that question. In fact, I have found the answer that has eluded philosophers, theologians, lostologists, and possibly even Matt. Why do we get lost?

We get lost because it is easy.

Pretty deep stuff, right? Don't miss the implication. If we get lost because it is easy, then getting lost belongs in a comprehensive category of life I have entitled:

Bad Things That Happen to You Automatically Unless You Take Specific Steps to Prevent Them from Happening

It is hard to get that title on a file folder but that's it. Here are some representative samples of things that fit in this life-category:

• getting fat
• hitting your thumb with a hammer
• stubbing your big toe
• getting sunburned
• cutting yourself shaving
• killing your house plants
• getting cavities
• getting knots in your shoe laces
• getting weeds in your yard
• getting stains on your new tie or dress
• sticking hot pizza to the roof of your mouth

Why do you get physically lost? Dig deep. Think hard. Consult the experts. Invest in years of psychotherapy. The ultimate answer is profound in its simplicity. You, like all of us, get lost because it is easy. You have to work to avoid getting lost. Do nothing special and you will get lost every time. Lost happens. Lost is life's default mode.

Speaking to a group of senior adults, Art Linkletter said, "Getting old is an amazing experience. You just live your life and then one day you're old. And you're really not sure how it happened."

What is true about aging is true about being lost spiritually. From a spiritual perspective, getting lost is unavoidable. Human nature is fundamentally flawed by sin. If people live their lives apart from God and follow their intuitions, they stay lost. That is because getting lost--physically or spiritually--is easy.

Compelling Compassion

Jesus understood how easily people become spiritually lost. He searched as the Good Shepherd for lost people. He went as the Great Physician to those who were spiritually sick.

It happened once at a private dinner party. (See Luke 7.) A Pharisee named Simon invited Jesus to join him and his friends for the evening. They were reclining around the table when she walked in. Everyone knew her . . . at least knew about her. She had quite a reputation. No one in town qualified more completely for the title "sinner" than this woman. The group watched as she kneeled at Jesus' feet and began to cry. She kissed His feet and wet them with her tears. With her hair she wiped dust and dirt from His feet.

The Pharisees were indignant. Imagine a sinner like her walking in uninvited and beginning to wash a teacher's feet. Quickly, they condemned her to perpetual sinner status with no hope of parole. How little compassion they showed. To them, she was a wicked woman who chose a wicked life of sin and deserved sin's consequences.

Jesus responded to her differently. He refused to condemn her although He knew all about her sinful life. He did not allow Simon and the others to pronounce their slicing judgments in her presence as if she were not really there. To the surprise of His pious-puffed religious friends, Jesus addressed the woman directly. With gentleness, He honored her, her faith, and her love. Indeed, she had sinned. But Jesus offered His grace. To one who was lost, He offered hope that she could be found.

Unintentionally Lost

Tom was lost when I met him. A successful salesman, raised in an affluent family, he had everything going for him. As we became friends and I learned his story, it was easy to see that many influences had converged to confuse him spiritually:

• decisions made by his parents about lifestyle and church involvement
• his friends and associates and the influence they had on his life
• career decisions that set the course for his life
• financial considerations that impacted his decisions
• his personal morality which caused him to rank well compared to others

All these factors and more led Tom to the place he was when we met. Why was he lost? Tom was lost for lots of reasons. Most of all, Tom was lost because lost is what happens unless you take specific actions to insure you do not get lost. His life provided striking evidence of the truth of Lostology Law #3: getting lost is easy.

No Big Surprise

As we encounter secular people, this thought should shape our thinking: these people are lost because it is easy to be lost. Over time, they simply lived their lives and moved further away from God. If we remember this, we will not be surprised by what lost people believe, say, and do:

When talking to lost people, we must not react to what they believe. Do not say: "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." Or, "Don't tell me you believe that. My first grader knows more about the Bible than that!"

In conversations, we must not be put off by things lost people say. Secular people often use language that offends us. How easy it is to react. Unfortunately, if we focus on people's vocabularies, we may miss the opportunity to tell them about Jesus, the only one who can ultimately change their hearts and thereby clean up their speech. Do not expect lost people to act differently from what they are--lost.

Sometimes lost people test us by talking about things they have done in the past. They may be toying with us, seeing if they can prompt a reaction. More likely, they are checking the scope of our love and acceptance. Many lost people feel God cannot love them because of all the things they have done. If we wince at the mention of their sin and distance ourselves from them, they may assume God will do the same thing.

When we remember how easy it is to be lost, we guard against judging secular people harshly. Without God's grace and intervention in our lives, we could have done the same things as any of the lost people we meet. None of us are immune. Recalling God's intervention in our lives helps us respond with grace to lost people entrapped by sin.

An awareness of the basic principles of lostology prepares us to be patient with lost people. When they are ready for new directions, we will be there with empathy and love.

The Lostology Lab

Many longtime spiritual insiders forget how easy it is to be lost spiritually. Therefore, they tend to be shocked and judgmental when they interact with non-Christians. By reminding us that it is easy to be lost, this chapter helps us adjust our attitudes toward lost people. Check your attitude by answering the following questions:

1. How do you view people who are spiritually lost?
2. Have you considered how easy it is to be lost spiritually? If you recognize that it is easy to be lost, how does this impact the way you deal with lost people?
3. How do you respond when non-Christians begin to tell you what they believe?
4. What do you do if they use language that offends you?
5. How do you respond when non-Christians begin to tell you about the wrong things they have done in their lives? Are you shocked? Are you judgmental? What do you say? What do you do?
6. When you hear secular people describe the sin in their lives, do you think of them as morally inferior to you? If so, why? If not, why?
7. As a lostologist who understands how easy it is to get lost, how will you attempt to deal with secular people in the future as you engage them in spiritual discussions?

Coming Next: Slipping into Another Dimension

There is something strange about being lost. When you are lost, it is as if you slip into another dimension of experience. You are never quite sure when and how you got there. All you know is that something has changed. Lostologists study this uncharted dimension. You have been there in the past. You will be there again. There is no way to escape. We will pay a visit in the next chapter.