Waiting While Searching

But while he [the prodigal son] was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. Luke 15:20

Lostology Law #21

Waiting is part of searching.

My Grandmother Frachiseur ranked as a world-class wait-ER. Not the kind of waiter who brings you food in a restaurant. Grandmother waited for people to show up.

Having spent the majority of her life on a farm with a large family, much of my grandmother's life revolved around preparing meals and waiting for people to show up and eat. Even after my grandfather died and Grandmother moved into town and lived alone, she often prepared big meals on Sunday "just in case" people dropped by. (They usually did!)

For Grandmother, waiting was an expression of love. What qualified her as one of the world's great wait-ers was that she extended her gift of waiting to unlikely people.

One weekend while I was in college, I returned to my parents' home and brought a friend with me, a fellow named Chris. Grandmother was also visiting that weekend. Chris and I enjoyed a wonderful time with her, stuffing ourselves on down-home, country cooking as only she could prepare.

That evening, Chris had plans that took him one place and I ended up going somewhere else. We told my parents and Grandmother we would be out late and not to worry.

Some time after midnight I returned home. Entering through the back door, I prepared to go upstairs to my bedroom. As I did, I noticed a light in the den. Curious, I walked in and noticed Grandmother sitting in the rocking chair, her head leaning forward, sound asleep.

As I came in, she woke up. "Grandmother," I said, "what are you doing out here?" She smiled and said, "Oh, I was just waiting up until you got home." We talked for a few minutes. I told her about my evening and then said I was going to bed.

She looked at me and said, "Is Chris home yet?" Puzzled, I replied, "No, he said he'd be home real late." She nodded as I moved toward the door, but she did not get up. "Aren't you going to bed, Grandmother?" I asked. "No," she replied, "I'd better wait up for Chris."

Over the years, I learned many things from my grandmother. None surpassed the lesson she taught me that night as she "waited up" for someone she had met that day for the first time. For her, waiting was not passive or inactive. Waiting was something that told other people, "You are important; I love you." My grandmother believed everyone needed someone to keep the light on and wait up.

Life as a Wait-er

Think of a time you waited for someone because of your concern:

• someone running late on a stormy night
• a teenager out on a date
• someone lost for whom you had exhausted your capacity to search

What does it mean to wait? By waiting, we communicate much about our attitudes and emotions. Waiting shows we are preoccupied with one who is not there. Waiting can be a subtle but powerful expression of love. When we no longer wait, we may show that hope or even love has dimmed.

Lostology focuses on the act of waiting. When we wait, we not only communicate love; we engage in an essential part of searching for the lost.

Waiting Misunderstood

Jesus' story of the prodigal son tells us more about the father than it does about the son who left home. What did the prodigal's father do while his son was missing? Did he go and search for him? Did he try to persuade him to come home? We don't know. Jesus did not tell us.

We do know what the father was doing when his son appeared on the road heading home: the father was waiting. Coincidental timing? Did the father just happen to be there at the precise moment his son arrived? No way. What is more likely is that the father was there because that is where he spent much of his time while his son was gone.

So why did the father wait rather than search? That is the troubling question.

For the father, waiting was not passive. Waiting did not indicate a lack of concern. On the contrary, waiting simply showed that the father had accepted reality: there was nothing more he could do. He had to trust forces he could not control to carry his son home. If or until that happened, he did the one thing he could do. He expressed his love for his son by waiting. As long as he waited and watched, he nurtured the hope that one day his lost son would come home.

The father embodied Lostology Law #21: waiting is part of searching.

Actively Waiting

I will never forget Saturday night, March 12, 1988. As my former pastor used to say: "It hangs like a fishhook in the gray matter of my mind." (A gruesome analogy, but it describes the degree to which this memory lingers.) That was the night before the first service of our new church in Portland.

Almost a year of work had been completed. Thousands of people had been invited to attend. Volunteers from Texas and other churches in the northwest were prepared to help us conduct our first worship service for all who came the next morning.

My best friend, David Francis, was there leading the volunteer team from Texas and providing emotional support as only a best friend could. Together we debated how many chairs to set up in the auditorium, probing the theological implications if we set up too few chairs. (Would that be viewed as a lack of faith?) And as ardent pragmatists, we pondered the psychological impact of having several hundred chairs set up if only a handful of people showed up. (Would that be viewed as a sign of stupidity?) Profound questions . . . with elusive answers. We took our best shot with 250 chairs as the optimum balance of faith and pragmatism.

I did not sleep well that night. It didn't really matter, because it was a short night. We got up at 4:30 a.m. to begin preparing the facility for our first service at 9:00. For three hours we moved Sunday school equipment, silk plants, and chairs. We set up sound system equipment, tuned instruments, and completed all the other tasks necessary to prepare for the morning. A little past 8:00, we were ready. Everything looked great. There was nothing more we could do but wait.

I stared at the empty chairs lining the auditorium until my fears began to overcome me. What if no one shows up? I thought. Finally, I told David that I was going back to one of the classrooms. I felt helpless. All that could be done was done. It was now beyond my control.

About a quarter until 9:00, David stepped through the door. Tears filled his eyes as he smiled at me. "People are coming," he said. "They're really coming." And they did; 209 that first day.

The work and the wait was over. We were ready to begin a church. We had worked, and we had waited. Waiting was part of the work.

Part of the Plan

As we seek to reach secular people for Christ, there are many steps we can take. We can work and build relationships. We can pray and probe and seek to meet needs. But with some people, we come to the point where we have done all that can be done. At that point, the waiting phase begins.

A Very Long Walk

On one occasion, a Christian leader went to visit a tribe of people in Africa. The people had anticipated the visit and were prepared to welcome their honored guest. While the leader was there, one of the children, a young boy, came up to her and handed her a beautiful shell. The woman looked at it and admired it. She smiled at the boy and said, "Thank you."

The interpreter looked at the shell, then explained that the shell was extremely rare and could only be found in an area several days' walk from the village. The leader was stunned by the sacrifice the boy had made for her. She turned to the boy, and through the interpreter said, "You shouldn't have walked so far just to get me a gift."

The boy smiled, then responded in broken English, "Long walk part. of gift."

Embracing Waiting

When we embrace waiting as part of evangelism, we make several positive affirmations about the waiting phase of a spiritual search:

Coming to Christ will be a long process for some people, especially adults. Their journey to faith will take time, so we must be prepared to wait.

Actively talking with lost friends about their commitment to Christ can become counterproductive after repeated discussions and rejections. Further discussion can create resentment and even damage relationships. In these cases, waiting may be the only productive action Christians can take.

When we are willing to wait, we affirm that God is ultimately in control of everything. He can use a variety of people and means to reach our lost friends. We may be in awaiting phase while God moves someone else into their fives in a more active role.

Waiting gives us time to pray. Prayer reminds us that evangelism is ultimately God's work. Only He can convict our lost friends of sin. Only God can draw lost people to Himself. Waiting reminds us that the process does not hinge on our activity. Reaching the lost is God's work from first to last. He simply gives us the privilege and responsibility of joining Him in the process.

Waiting allows our faith to grow through testing. While waiting, we stretch our ability to expect what we cannot see and hope for what appears to be impossible. While waiting, we can affirm our confidence in God's power to do his work. Waiting give us the opportunity to get up every day--armed only with God's promises--and look down the road, expecting to see the prodigal come home.

Part of the Gift

Searching is part of love's gift. When we search, we communicate to others that we love and value them. But waiting is also part of the gift. When the lost are found, we can say, "We searched for you." Then we can add, "We also waited for you."

When we searched, we revealed our love. When we waited, we revealed our expectations and the focus of our hearts. As lostologists, we know that waiting is part of searching. Often, the long wait is part of the gift.

The Lostology Lab

1. Has there been a time when someone waited up for you as an expression of love and concern. How did you feel?
2. Was there ever a time when you waited up for someone because you were concerned about their safety, but were powerless to do anything? How did you feel? What did you do? Would you classify your activity as passive or active? Why?
3. When you read the story of the prodigal son prior to your study of lostology, how did you feel about the father's decision to stay at home rather than search for his son? Why did you believe he stayed home? What did you believe his actions communicated? Have you changed your views as a result of this study? if so, how?
4. If waiting is part of the process of evangelism, how does this truth change the way you attempt to share your faith with lost friends and loved ones?
5. How would you determine when it is appropriate to move into a waiting phase with a lost friend, rather than continuing to actively talk about Christ?
6. Based on what you have learned about the waiting phase of evangelism, how will you make your waiting active rather than passive? How will you approach prayer? How will you use the waiting phase as an opportunity to develop your faith? How will you use waiting as a time to focus on God's work in reaching your lost friends and loved ones?

Coming Next: The Question of Success

Is a search only successful when the lost are found? Or is there something intrinsically significant about the fact that people search for the lost? We will explore this question as we study the next law of lostology.